Building Bridges
by Midea
Summary: That Kíli was raised overground resulted in his love for nature. Or so he thought. Only after a terrible accident he learned the truth. - AU, will include Kíli, Fíli, Thorin, Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond and several others.
1. An Unexpected Rescue

_**Building Bridges**_

 _ **by Midea**_

 **An Unexpected Rescue**

Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór stumped through deep snow on his way home in the Ered Luin. He returned from one of his trade travels and aiding his people. Looking up he already recognized the landscape though it was buried in snow. But this part of the mountains gave him no pleasant memories and he hurried to cross the valley.

 _More than fifty years ago when his sister Dís went to the next human village to trade for some herbs as her son Fíli was ill at home. Thorin himself wasn't able to go as he was away at this time, hunting for his folk so she went instead. When Thorin returned at that time he found an empty hut except for his crying nephew. Deeply worried Thorin calmed the small boy, carried him to the next neighbor and started to search for his sister. Six hours later he found her in the middle of the woods, looking scared and confused and without memories of the past two days with bruises and scratches all over her body. For the next two weeks he never went outside and cared for his sister and nephew. It was then when he delivered the bad news of his brother-in-law's death sending Dís in a sorrowful grief for yet another three weeks at least, not caring for those around her. But slowly she returned from her mourning and started to live again though not as joyful as before. One year later, her second son Kíli was born. And though he was a joy for everyone neither Thorin nor Dís were sure of the lad's father. Too mysterious were the two missing days in his sister's life._

It took him another two hours to reach the small but comfy cabin he shared with his sister and her sons. He was still about twenty meters away when the door opened with a loud bang and his younger nephew stormed out to greet him.

"Uncle! You're back!" Kíli laughed and bumped into the older dwarf to hug him tightly.

"Humph. A bit slower please. I had a long way," Thorin said strictly but without really meaning it. In truth he was glad to see the lad.

"Sorry," the young dwarf apologized with a big grin. "Come inside. Mom made your favorite." Thorin nodded and Kíli turned around to hurry back into the warm hut. Thorin followed much slower and observed his nephew with a sorrowful glint in his eyes. It wasn't always easy for the lad as he was often teased for his undwarvish looks. With a slim figure and a height of nearly 5', tall for a dwarf, it gave him an almost lanky appearance. And totally unacceptable for a dwarf. But Thorin loved his nephew nonetheless.

Inside the cabin he was greeted by his other nephew and his sister. Though not as energetic as Kíli's it was still affectionately. Stripping off his thick mantle and boots he stepped to the table and settled himself down. Sometimes it was almost like Dís could see into the future as nearly anytime he returned dinner was ready. Dís served the food and all four began to eat, forgotten were sad thoughts and exchanged with happiness.

Looking at the younger sibling Thorin decided not to let sadden himself about his nephew and never allow more taunting.

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"Don't go too far, Kíli!" his mother shouted after him but Kíli didn't care. He loved being outside and there was nothing that could keep him inside for long. Not even his own mother. Sometimes he thought it very odd that he liked trees and grass so much and not stones and rocks as dwarfs usually did. But he mused this was because he was raised overground and not inside a mine. Though his brother, who was raised exactly as he was, didn't share his preferences. Although it hurt when other dwarves, both youths and adults, teased and mocked him about it (second only to his appearance) he learned long ago to shake it off quickly. And his carefree attitude helped to not held a grudge for long. Though he did noticed that his uncle scared most bullies away before anything happened. He wondered when this change in his uncle's manner happened and realized that it happened ten years ago, around his fiftieth birthday. But he shrugged these thoughts off as he disliked to dwell in the past. Instead he ran with high spirits through the woods and over rocks, releasing some of his energy.

Today he decided to went another route as usual and went to the river Lhûn, though at this point of the mountains it wasn't the great stream that would flow into the ocean. Slowing down a bit he walked through the firs and spruces that were loaded with snow. An hour later he heard the murmur of the river and his steps became more jumpy. Sometimes he thought his likings for any water source larger than a puddle came from his mother's prohibition. She always feared her sons would fall into deep water and drunk as rarely any dwarf was a good swimmer. Reaching the shore of the Lhûn he saw that the river was bigger than usual, almost twice its size. Probably from the already smelting snow. Instead of a calm flow it was torrent. Chewing his lips and with wide eyes Kíli watched the river and wondered if it wasn't better to turn back. The path, barely seen, was small and there was a real danger to slip and fall into the stream. Kíli was a good swimmer for a dwarf but he doubted that even an elf could swim easily in this torrent. But Kíli proved stubborn and anything but a coward and trekked down the path some minutes later, although with each step carefully placed.

Half an hour later Kíli felt already surer with his footing and became reckless he placed one foot too near to the shore and send a small mud slide into the water. Whirling his arms in hope to remain staying Kíli fought for his balance. But just mere seconds after the slide his foot slipped away and he followed the mood in the icy water. He was quickly pulled down by the strong and swirling water and tried to reach the surface. But when his struggling were successfully long enough to catch a quick breath he was sucked into the water a moment later. Each gasp of air was heavily fought but the distance between each grew constantly and weakened him considerably until he lost the fight against unconsciousness and welcomed the surrounding darkness.

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"Where is he?" Dís barked out, obviously angry.

"Who?" her blond son asked carefully to not upset his mother further.

"Your brother! He should be back by now. Dinner is nearly finished!" Dís shot back and glared at Fíli.

"Uhm. Maybe he forgot time? It wouldn't be the first time, Mom," Fíli answered but looked uneasy himself.

"I doubt that. The last time wasn't that long ago and he wouldn't dare to be late so soon after," Dís said and her gaze settled at her brother Thorin. "You should go with your uncle and search for him." Though it sounded like a request it was an order.

Thorin sighed but didn't argue. He started to worry for the reckless dwarf too. So he grabbed his mantle and left the cabin, quickly followed by his nephew.

"Where are we going to start looking?" Fíli asked after they were out of sight. Thorin didn't answer immediately but looked at the ground for signs of Kíli's whereabouts. A few minutes later he found what he sought: footprints which led to the east.

"I think Kíli went to the Lhûn," he sighed and now Fíli looked at the track himself and nodded approvingly. No word was needed as both of them went to the river themselves, only glancing at the track every now and then. They knew the way and they knew Kíli only too well. They would find him near the river for sure.

Two hours later they stood at the same spot Kíli stood before pondering if he should continue or not. The two dwarves looked horrified at the torrent river.

"You don't think Kíli fell into that?" Fíli asked with panic in his voice. Thorin didn't felt any better. Looking at the ground he tried to find some new tracks and was quickly satisfied.

"No. He followed the river. There are his footprints," the older dwarf said and pointed at said prints. Sharing one glance they followed the track again, glad that they found no signs that Kíli fell indeed into the water. Half an hour later the panic returned as they stood at the mud slide. This time it was clear that Kíli had been near the water.

"Maybe it happened after he passed this spot?" Fíli asked hopefully.

"No," Thorin said and shook his head. "There are no footprints on the other side."

"But that means..." Fíli said with despair as the truth seeped into him. He looked form the ground to the river and back again. "No!" He made attempts to follow the river to find some signs that his brother was alive but was stopped by his uncle. "Leave me! I must find him!"

"I'm sorry, Fíli. But it's getting dark. We'll never find him. We must return tomorrow with a search party," Thorin said with a broken voice. He knew that the chances to find his nephew alive were very slim. Even to find his body would be a miracle.

Fíli stared at his uncle, not wanting to see the sense in his words but had to agree. A quick look to the sky showed clearly the approaching dusk. With bowed heads they walked back to their home, their hearts filled with despair. Dís, who stood at the door looking hopefully at them, started to sob when she saw the truth in her familie's faces. They've lost their youngest family member. And though Thorin summoned a search party at dawn the next morning they found nothing. And not the day after or the day after that. But they never lost hope to find the lost one some day, however unlikely it was.

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When the dwarven family started to worry a lonely person walked along the river, searching for solitude. It wasn't a dwarf as it was too tall, and neither was it a man as its movements were too gracious. It was a male elf who wandered at the outskirt of the Ered Luin, being careful to avoid any settlements. That dwarves disliked elves was a common knowledge, although it mostly wasn't returned by the elves. The area he was in now wasn't in the mountain itself but it was already hilly and the river snaked through the landscape. It was after the Lhûn took a curve when his eyes caught a glimpse of something that didn't belong in the river. Stepping nearer to the overflowing stream he saw with surprise that it was a person that flowed face-up at the surface. From the looks it was a dwarf. Pondering what to do the elf looked around and saw some rocks in the water a bit downstream. Running to the point and stepping carefully atop the rocks he waited until the person came into his reach. Grabbing the clothes of the dwarf he heaved him outside and dragged him to the shore. When he was far enough he lowered the dwarf gently at the ground and searched for live sings. To his surprise he found a steady, but low heartbeat and a swallow breathing. Though he doubted that the dwarf would have took any longer on his own as his lips turned already blue. Without thinking he started to strip the dwarf and wrapped him into his cape. Then he searched for wood and started a fire. Warmth was the top priority now. After he cared for the dwarf as best as he could the elf sat down and stared at his new charge. He looked rather young with just the starting of a beard. And rather tall. It would be sad if someone so young would die and he wondered how the dwarf ended in the river. Was it an accident or on purpose? He could not say. The whole night he sat beside the dwarf and studied him absently. Something bothered him about his young charge but he couldn't put a finger on it. Finally he shrugged. If it was important he would learn about it soon enough.

It wasn't until noon the next day before the dwarf showed the first signs of regaining consciousness. As the dwarf still needed some time to wake the elf started to brew some water for a healthy and warm tea. When he was finished he settled himself again beside the dwarf and waited. He needn't wait for long as moments later the dark-haired dwarf blinked his eyes open and stared at the elf in confusion.

"Who are you?" the dwarf rasped and looked anxiously.

"My name is Elladan. I found you yesterday floating in the river," the elf introduced himself gently, not wanting to startle the young dwarf. The dwarf's eyes flickered to the stream and back at the elf and frowned, still confused.

"May I ask for your name, young one?" Elladan asked when the dwarf said nothing. But now the confused look changed into a panicked.

"I...I don't know. I can't remember anything."


	2. Losses

**Losses**

Elladan stared at the dwarf, stunned by his revelation.

"You don't know who you are?" he asked after a long silence. The dwarf shook his head with a distressed expression.

"No," he whispered, his eyes pleading for help.

"Maybe you bumped your head on a rock. It's probably only temporary," Elladan said to calm his charge down. The younger didn't looked convinced at all.

"But before you start to worry about that you should eat first and drink some warm tea. Sounds good?" Elladan asked with a rare smile, pushing his thoughts back into his mind. He stood to gather the tea and food and gave it the conspicuous looking dwarf. After a short moment the dwarf accepted and dug into it. In a bit more than a blink of the eye the bowls were empty.

"How are you feeling?" the elf asked who finished his own lunch and waited patiently for an answer.

"A bit sore. And a headache. But I'm not cold anymore," the dwarf said finally, seemingly not fully trusting the elf.

"Understandable. You should drink more of that tea. It'll helps," Elladan nodded and reached for the pot.

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The dark-haired dwarf watched the also dark-haired elf cautiously. He couldn't say if the elf was friend or foe though he was very helpful so far. Truthfully, the elf scared him a bit as tall as he was and with this almost unnatural beauty. He looked so young but his manner showed clearly that he was older than his looks could tell. But his fear of the elf wasn't his biggest right now. No, he was almost terrified that he couldn't remember anything. Not what happened. Not even who he was.

After he finished his lunched he weighed his options. He could go and search for anyone who might recognize him on his own though he had no idea where to look first. Or he could ask the elf for help for both, finding relatives and a cure for his amnesia. Looking around he couldn't see any signs of settlements and mused he could wander around without meeting another person. His eyes stopped at the elf and tried to figure out if the elf was honest in his attempts to help. The elf, Elladan, had said he fished him out of the river and though he had no memory of it he had the vague feeling that it was true. That meant that the elf already saved his life. But instead of just pulling him out he had cared for the stranger and continued to do so. No aggressive movements so far and somewhere back in his mind he doubted that Elladan was really a danger to him.

"Would you help me?" he asked finally, his gaze never leaving the elf's face. Elladan put his bowl carefully aside to look at the dwarf.

"What help do you want of me?" Elladan asked seriously.

"Well, I was thinking. One option would be to search for anyone who might recognize me. But they could be everywhere. It would be easier if I could _remember_ who I am. Do you know anything that might help me to remember?" he asked hopefully.

"No," Elladan answered slowly. The dwarf bowed his head in defeat. "But I know someone who might be able to help you with that." Immediately the dwarf's head shot up again.

"Really? Who?"

"My father. He is one of the greatest healers in Middle-Earth. If you want I can bring you to him. It would be a long travel though," Elladan said carefully.

The amnesiac stared at the elf without really seeing him, thinking about the offer. Eventually he made a decision and his gaze became focused again.

"I want to visit your father," he said simply and Elladan nodded.

They rested for the remaining day and night and broke up their camp the next morning. No need to rush anything. The dwarf looked back to the mountains, feeling to belong there. But he had the feeling too that they wouldn't give him the cure or solution he searched for.

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Elladan led them to a small farm where he left his horse. The peasants had cared good for the stallion and even offered some provisions for the two travelers. Sadly, they didn't recognize the dwarf. It was too far away of the mountains to have dealings with dwarves.

As they had only the one horse the elf let the dwarf mount behind them and he nudged his horse into a pace it could keep up nearly for the whole day. It wasn't really comfortable for either of them but for now they had no other choice. But he would took the first opportunity to buy a horse or pony for the dwarf.

It took them three days to cross the Lhûn and left it behind. From there on they rode eastwards to the shire. It was the safest route Elladan knew. And the possibility was high that they could get a pony there. It was a silent ride as neither of them felt very talkative. The dwarf probably because he knew nothing he could talk about and the elf because he didn't want to talk. The purpose of his journey to mountains so far away from Imlardris was to be left alone. But even when Elladan felt miserable he couldn't decline the dwarf's call for help.

When they settled for the fourth night after the dwarves first awakening at the river they did it easily. They had already enough practice with it that no communication was necessary. Making dinner from the last of the peasants provisions Elladan's thoughts returned to the strange feeling he felt every time he laid his eyes upon the dwarf. He had a really odd aura. Nothing he would expect from a dwarf.

"Do you really think your father can help me?" Startled by the question Elladan's eyes refocused on the dwarf who looked at him with sad eyes.

"I can't promise anything. But if somebody is able to help you then it is my father," Elladan said, disliking that he could not offer any true comfort for the young dwarf. The dwarf stared for a few moments at him and then nodded.

"You still can't remember anything? Not even a small thing?" Elladan asked out of curiosity.

"No. Not really," the dark-haired dwarf answered. "Just a few impression of the river, I think." The amnesiac closed his eyes and searched for more memories. "It was cold and the water strong. I couldn't breath. It was terrible" he whispered with a shudder and then opened his eyes again. "What if all my memories are just terrible and sad?"

Elladan could understand the dwarf for a bit though he never lost all of his memories, just a time period of a month. Searching for anything that proofed that the dwarf had good times in his life he remembered something that he found on the dwarf's clothes.

"Look into your left pocket," he said and pointed at said pocket. Shooting the elf a confused look the dwarf buried his hand in his pocked and pulled out a black stone with dwarven runes on it.

"What is that?" he asked and studied the stone.

"I'm not sure, but I think it's a token from your family. A keepsake to remember you that you are loved," Elladan said and hoped that his words were true.

"Thank you," the dwarf whispered and closed his finger around the stone before he laid down for the night.

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"You can't be serious!" Dís yelled at her older brother. "You can't give up. He's your nephew!" The dwarven mother paced agitated in front of Thorin, wringing her hands in despair.

"I searched everywhere. Went down the river for miles. Searched for days! There are no signs of him!" Thorin yelled back at his sister, feeling the same despair as she did. "I don't want to stop the search, but I am out of places to look for him!"

While the two fought Fíli sat in a corner and stared blind into the air. Except for his father he never lost anyone before. To loose his father was hard though he couldn't remember much of him as he was very young at that time. But to loose his baby brother was much worse. That they weren't able to even found his brother's body made it even more terrible.

When the shouting didn't end after a while he focused at his remaining family and stood up, determined to end their argument.

"Stop it!" he said, never raising his voice but with a dangerous hint in it. "We all are feeling bad and you two are making it worse. Kíli wouldn't want that." Instead of waiting for an answer he turned around into his room and closed the door behind him. Finally alone he dropped onto his bed and buried his face in the pillow to let his tears loose. His brother meant everything for him and to think that he wouldn't see him again made him wish to die. A world without the energetic dwarf was unthinkable. But he had seen the river with its rapid and strong flow. To fight against that was nearly impossible. Kíli's only chance would be someone to drag him out but the chances that that happened where slim.

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Thorin and Dís were stunned after Fíli disrupted their argument. None of them had thought of the younger dwarf's feeling. Groaning Dís sat at the kitchen table and buried her head in her hands.

"It's killing him," she moaned and the first tears escaped her eyes. "He was never without his brother and now Kíli's dead." Thorin watched his sister helplessly, not knowing what to say. He too knew what that meant for his remaining nephew. But he too knew that Fíli was strong and that he'd overcome this.

"He won't die," he said, confidence ringing in his voice. "He's stubborn and of Durin's Folk. Losing his brother will not destroy him." Though it will be a close call. "And I promise you that I will go after ever sign of Kíli I hear of. Even if it's just a mere rumor." Dís didn't look up but nodded, her sobbing ceasing a bit.

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Unaware of the dwarven family's misery the odd pair of dwarf and elf arrived at the western borders of the Shire. Instead of traveling further eastwards Elladan headed to the next settlement which laid a bit aside of their way. It was time to find a second horse.

"What are we doing here?" the dwarf asked curiously when Elladan slowed the stallion down. The dwarf had become more comfortable around the elf after they traveled together for some days. He still couldn't remember anything though.

"Getting yourself a mount," Elladan answered absently, already looking around for a place to buy a horse.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I can buy a horse or pony for my dwarven friend here?" he asked a passing hobbit. The stout hobbit looked up to him with narrowed eyes and then blinked at the dwarf.

"Farmer Longfeet has horses. Maybe he's willing to sell you one," the hobbit said and pointed at a lonely farm at the east side of the village.

"I thank you," Elladan said and bowed his head politely before he turned his stallion to said farm. They needed just a few minutes to reach their destination and then both dismounted.

"Hello?" Elladan ask with raised voice to gain the owner's attention. Shortly after a hobbit, who true to his name had long feet, stepped out of the barn and walked to them.

"Greetings. What can I do for an elf and a dwarf?" he asked curiously with raised brows. Even here in the Shire they knew that dwarves and elves didn't get along well.

"You're Farmer Longfeet, I suppose?" Elladan asked and continued after a nod of the hobbit. "You see, my friend and I are traveling for a long way and we have just that one horse. I hoped I could buy one of yours."

"A fine stallion you have there, though a bit big in my opinion. I'm afraid my steeds aren't as fine as he is," Farmer Longfeet said and eyed the elven horse with interest. "But if you want I can sell you one of mine."

"I would appreciate it," Elladan said and waited patiently to let the farmer fetch said horse. Just a few minutes later the hobbit returned, leading a horse that was neither a horse nor a pony but something in between. The elf nodded satisfied after he looked the horse up and down, deciding that it would handle the long way. After some coins changed the owner he helped the dwarf to mount his new steed and then mounted himself. Together they left the village in a slow pace to let the dwarf adjust to riding on his own. When it became clear that the dwarf was a suffice rider they raised their speed to cross the Shire fast.

 **AN:** Hi everyone! This is my first fanfiction to "The Hobbit" and I hope you like it so far. To make Kíli an amnesiac isn't easy to write but it's more interesting this way. Though I can't wait until he has a name again.


	3. Adjusting

**Adjusting**

It took them another three days to reach the Brandywine and Elladan was pleased to see the dwarf becoming more lively every day. He looked at the flowers and trees around him with wonder and seemed to enjoy nature in an almost subconscious way. Elladan mused that it was a trait he had before his loss of memory too. But it wasn't only his obvious joy that grew. He became more talkative too as he asked Elladan every now and then about a plant he saw on their way, determined to relearn as much as possible though he would prefer to remember it.

"We should rest here and continue our journey tomorrow," Elladan said and the dwarf nodded. They had reached a small clearing near the Brandywine Bridge that was suitable for a night camp. After they looked after their horses they prepared their own dinner.

"How long is it until we reach Rivendell?" the dwarf asked while they ate.

"At least two to three weeks, I think. Depends on the weather and if our journey is undisturbed," Elladan answered after he swallowed his food.

"What could disturbed it?" came the uneasy question. "Are there dangers on our ways?"

"Not necessarily. But sometimes there are bandits raiding the road," the elf said and looked at his charge. "But do not worry. They come mostly in tiny groups and it is nearly unheard of that they attack an elf."

"But what _if_ they attack? I have no weapon except for this dagger," the dwarf said and showed Elladan a fine-crafted dagger.

"A dagger can be a dangerous weapon if used wisely. Though you need to be very agile to reach your enemy with it," Elladan said and smiled. His twin brother was a really master with a dagger.

"Can you show me?" the dwarf asked eagerly.

Elladan pursed his lips and then nodded. It was still a bit too early to sleep and he could use a bit of an exercise.

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The amnesiac dwarf watched Elladan standing up and moved a bit away from the fire. It wasn't only interest that had made him this request. It was a distraction from his thoughts that were still very depressive though he tried to hide it from the elf. How successfully he was he could not say though Elladan didn't mentioned it. Sometimes he wondered if he should tell the elf of his fears but then decided against it as he didn't want to burden his savior more than he already did.

Shoving his dark thoughts back into his mind he watched the elf as he slid from one position in the next, fighting a non-existent enemy. It was very smoothly and looked like a dance. It looked very beautiful and he wondered if all elves fought like that. Maybe he got the chance to see other elves fight when they reached Rivendell.

Unnoticed to the young it grew dark, so fascinated was he from the elf's performance. And with time he got calmer in mind and body, drifting into sleep, soothed by Elladan's smooth movements.

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Finishing his last practice strike Elladan sheathed his daggers and turned around to see the dwarf sound asleep. With a small smile he pulled out a blanked and wrapped the youth in it. Whilst he did not know the dwarf's age he wasn't quite sure if he even was of age. The young one looked so innocent at times and his behavior as well, though some of it would be the amnesia. Settling himself against a tree trunk near the sleeping dwarf he wondered if it really was a good idea to went to Rivendell. The dwarf must have a family and they probably thought he was dead by now. But the lively youth had asked and Elladan was curious about the unusual aura the dwarf carried. Maybe they could send a messenger to the Ered Luin after they arrived in Imladris. But he doubted that they would listen to the words of an elf without proof that the dwarf was alive. What was nearly impossible without any memory. Sighing Elladan decided to not think about it yet and made himself comfortable for the night watch. As an elf he need no sleep, just a bit rest.

The next morning the two of them raised early and continued their journey after a quick breakfast. Both were eager to reach their destination though for different reasons.

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Elrond stood on one of the many balconies of Imladris, staring at a waterfall. His thoughts were with his eldest, worrying about his safety. When the sound of soft footsteps reached his ears he returned from his thoughts and turned his head slightly to the left, watching the approaching elf.

"Father," his second son, Elrohir, greeted him with a nod. "What are you doing here?"

"Thinking about your brother," Elrond replied with a sad smile. "He shouldn't be alone."

Elrohir sighed and stepped beside his father, looking at the waterfalls as well. He was the spitting image of his twin: tall, with dark brown, almost black long hair, the usual pointed ears and grey eyes.

"Elladan will be alright, Father. Don't worry so much. He can defend himself quite well," he tried to soothe his father.

"I know how capable he is with a bow and a sword. But that isn't what I meant and you know that," Elrond said and shot his son a chiding look.

"He just needs some time to be alone, without anyone fussing about him. He isn't made of porcelain, you know. Nor is he a child," Elrohir replied as chiding as his father.

"You're right, of course. I just don't want to loose your brother. He hasn't overcome his trauma yet" Elrond said sadly with a sigh. Turning to his father Elrohir observed the tense figure.

"As I said: he will be alright. He just need some time to think. It was decades ago and hasn't destroyed him yet and it will not in the future." Staring at his father for a few more minutes to make sure he understood then left as quietly as he came, leaving a sobered father behind.

"And you're possible right again, my son," Elrond murmured and stared westwards again, wishing for his son's return.

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Thorin sat in the living room when a heavy know sounded from the front door. Pushing himself up he walked to the door and opened it slowly to face his two cousins, Balin and Dwalin.

"Thorin! It feels like an eternity since I saw your face last!" the bald and larger dwarf of the two roared and pulled Thorin into a bear-like hug.

"Balin, Dwalin," Thorin grunted and stepped aside to let them enter, glad to see them. "How was your trade trip?"

"Excellent, I must say. Made a good profit with those weapons you forged," the white-haired Balin said, smiling at his not-yet king.

"That is good to hear. Sit, I'll bring you some ale," Thorin nodded satisfied and shoved them to the couch before leaving for the kitchen to fetch the promised ale. When he returned the two brothers bickered about some problems on their way and Thorin felt his sorrow swelling up all over again. Kíli and Fíli had done that too. Quite often. To not be able to see them again teasing each other again hurt. Setting two of the mugs in front of them he sat in the armchair near the fire.

"That's some good ale," Dwalin said and took another gulp. He drowned half of the big mug before he looked around.

"Where's Dís?" he asked as he saw that the room was empty except for the three male dwarves.

"At the market. We're out of meat," Thorin answered with a neutral voice, knowing what would come next.

"And Fíli and Kíli? Accompanying her or are they having fun outside?"

"No," Thorin said and shook his head. "Fíli's in his room, barely leaving it."

"Why? Is he ill?" Balin asked with a worried frown.

"No."

The two brothers shared a look, noticing that Thorin had only spoke of Fíli. They waited for Thorin to continued but waited for nothing.

"And Kíli?" Balin finally broke the silence.

"Lost."

"What do you mean with 'lost'?" Dwalin grumbled angrily. "When he's lost you should seek him. Fíli too."

"No. I mean we lost him. Most probably dead," Thorin corrected with a whisper and both sons of Fundin paled simultaneously.

"What? What happened, Thorin?" Balin asked flabbergasted. And so Thorin told them the whole story and left a silent room after he finished.

"Poor lad," Balin said after a while with a sigh. Thorin couldn't tell if he meant Fíli or Kíli. Probably both. Dwalin grunted in agreement.

"But I'm sure he'll overcome this. And who knows? Maybe Kíli is still alive and just lost. There's still hope," Balin said and looked as if he truly meant it.

"Maybe," Thorin replied, glad about the comfort his two oldest friends offered him. And maybe, maybe Balin was really right and he would see his nephew again someday.

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True to his uncle's words Fíli was in his room, laying on top of his bad and staring at the ceiling as he did for days. With every bit of his being he missed his brother. Not in his wildest dreams he would have thought to loose the joyful dwarf who was his brother.

It needed some time to notice the murmur from the other room and wondered who visited his uncle. Concentrating on the voices he soon learned that it were Balin and Dwalin. A small smile appeared on the blonde dwarf's face thinking fondly of the two brothers who were almost a second pair of uncles to him. Deciding to at least greet them he scrambled off his bed and walked to the door. Just before he reached the door knob he could easily hear the conversation held in the living room.

"But I'm sure he'll overcome this. And who knows? Maybe Kíli is still alive and just lost. There's still hope," one of the voices said which Fíli recognized as Balin's.

"Maybe," came the reply from Thorin who sounded hopeful and Fíli felt a sting of guilt. He wasn't the only one who lost Kíli. His mother and uncle had too and Fíli had ignored both in his own grief. But dwarves, especially their family, were a folk who shared everything within their family. Scolding himself for being so ignorant to his family Fíli swore to do better from now on. Yes, he still would his brother's loss. And yes, he still would miss him so much that it almost hurts. But he wouldn't allow himself to be defeated by this. Kíli wouldn't want that, of that he was sure. He would want his brother, mother and uncle to live on as Fíli would the other way around. Steeling himself he reached for the door handle and left his room, now truly wanting to greet Thorin's two friends properly.

"Fíli!" Balin exclaimed, clearly surprised by the young dwarf's appearance. "I'm glad to see you, lad." Dwalin grunted but said nothing though he looked glad as well.

"Balin, Dwalin, it's good to see you both," Fíli said and nodded politely. In the past a wide grin would've plastered his face but he wasn't ready for that right now. He didn't know if he ever would but he would try.

"We've heard what happened to Kíli. I'm so sorry, Fíli," Balin said in a low voice, looking said.

"I know, Balin. But who knows? Maybe he's still out there, somewhere, as you said," Fíli answered and waved at the comment of the older dwarf. The three males, seated around the fire, looked surprised but Fíli didn't care. Instead he went to the kitchen to fetch his own mug of ale and then joined the other dwarves who returned to their chat, a bit lighter at heart than before.

 **AN:** I'm already working on the 4th chapter but I can't promise when it will be finished. But I have to work too though it isn't much these days.

Celebrisilweth: Of course Thorin wouldn't look in Rivendell or any places with elves. For that he loathed them too much.


	4. Arrival

**Arrival**

"When will we be there?" Elladan's young companion asked not for the first time.

"Imladris is still a few days away," the elf answered a bit annoyed. It was already the third time that day the dwarf asked and it wasn't even noon.

"I'm tired of riding," the brunette dwarf said and made a face of uneasiness. "Or travel at all."

Studying the dwarf Elladan made a decision. A day more or less made no difference so they could spend the remaining day with other things than travel. Reining his stallion to a stop the dwarf still rode a few meters before he noticed the elf's absence.

"Why are you stopping?" he asked curiously.

"I think we rode far enough for today," the tall elf said and dismounted to unsaddled his horse.

"But..." the still mounted dwarf tried to object but was cut off by Elladan.

"No buts. We're nearly out of provisions and our horses could use a longer break."

Pouting the dwarf dismounted as well and unsaddled his smaller horse, sending it to the elf's steed.

"Please prepare the camp, I'll go hunting. It shouldn't take long," Elladan said while probing his bows string. "When I return I'll show you how to use the dagger of yours more efficiently." At that the dwarf's face lit up and started eagerly to build the camp.

An hour later he returned with a small deer over his shoulder, pleased to see that his young companion was finished as well.

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Far too soon the camp was build and the young dwarf had no idea what to do until Elladan returned. It were already over two weeks since he awakened with no memories and though he still longed for them he could enjoy to learn something new. Or relearn something old as several activities his body could remember when his mind could not. He wondered if this would work the same way with weapon training too. Up until now Elladan had heavily objected to spar with him as he was 'far too young' or 'not truly healed yet' to risk an injury. He wondered why the elf had changed his mind now but with no result. Only a direct question could help. Maybe. Sighing he sat at the now crackling fire and stared into the flames. He was so absorbed that he didn't notice the nearing elf and was startled when Elladan suddenly stood next to him. Whipping his head around he stared wide-eyed at the elf before he recognized him and calmed.

"Sorry. Didn't want to startle you," Elladan apologized and heaved the deer from his shoulder. The dwarf watched with the curiosity of a child how the elf prepared the deer and sliced it in handy pieces. Some of it he wrapped into leather and packed it away but the rest he began to roast it upon the fire.

"That smells good," the younger of the two said and wasn't far away from drooling.

"Well, it's definitely better than anything my brother can make," Elladan laughed with an amused sparkle in his eyes though his tone said clearly that he was only joking.

"You have a brother?" the amnesiac asked and couldn't decide what to watch: his traveling companion and savior or the meat on the fire.

"Yes. A younger twin brother, he's in Rivendell right now," Elladan answered and turned the steaks around. "I have a sister, too. Her name is Arwen. She's younger than Elrohir and I and lives in Lothlórien right now."

"Really? I wonder if I have siblings," the young dwarf said sadly. Not knowing anything about his family, or if he had a family at all, was the worst consequence of the amnesia so far. Not knowing what to say Elladan kept silent and the two began to ate.

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Elladan scraped the last piece of meat from his plate before he put it aside, waiting for the dwarf to finish as well. Having a larger portion than the elf the dwarf needed surprisingly just a few minutes longer. He then put his plate aside as well and looked at the elf eagerly.

"I see you're ready," the tall elf said and stood. His young companion following quickly. "First of all: fighting with a dagger is far more effectively if you use two instead of one."

"But I have just this one," the dwarf objected, waving his dagger.

"This is why I give you one of mine," Elladan answered and gave the dwarf one of his daggers: a long and slender weapon that fitted well into the younger one's hand. Studying his new weapon for a few minutes the dwarf then nodded satisfied.

"Thank you, though I don't see how this will work if I have a second just for training," he said and looked a bit dissatisfied.

"No," Elladan said and shook his head. "I didn't give you this dagger just for training. It's a gift."

"Really? Thank you. Though I'm not sure if I'm good enough for such a beautiful dagger," the amnesiac dwarf said with a slight smile on his face.

For the next hours Elladan showed the dwarf useful movements. But the first thing he taught how to hold the daggers properly. Inexperienced people hold their daggers and attacked with them as they were the horns of a bull. But Elladan showed his new student to wield one dagger in a backhand grip. This way it was far easier to make a surprising attack and to attack from nearly any position. His second lesson was to not standing still. Kept moving. Attack and vanish the next moment.

Elladan and the dwarf trained for hours until dusk settled and they prepared supper. The elf was rather pleased with this training session as his student was a quick learner. Sure, they were just at the start but even some elves needed longer for the basics.

"You did well today," Elladan complimented his charge and earned a happy grin from the dwarf. Deciding to went to sleep early as the dwarf had sore muscles Elladan volunteered for the watch again. He needn't much rest.

For the next days they kept the pattern to travel until evening, eating something and then returned to their training sessions. Though each session took no longer than one or two hours.

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"I never realized how loud it was with your brother around," Thorin said when the small family sat at the kitchen table for dinner. Both Dís and Fíli tensed a bit at the male dwarf's words but relaxed after a while. It was a month since Kíli was missing, most likely dead and none of them could wrap their heads around the thought to never see the youngest member of their family again. But they tried and that was the reason why Thorin mentioned his dark-haired nephew every now and then.

"He was a troublemaker, you mean," Fíli sighed after he emerged from his small shock.

"True. But you had your fair share with all the trouble, don't deny it!", Thorin answered and smiled fondly at his nephew, a sign that he wasn't angry.

"Well, yes, but the craziest ideas always came from Kíli. I have to work hard to replace him until he comes back," Fíli defended himself. But with that statement he made also clear that he hadn't lost hope yet that he would see his brother again.

"I hope not. You too left always such a chaos. I'm tired that I've always had to clean your mess." Dís looked chidingly at her oldest who looked obediently guilty. "To make some amends you're going to make the dishes today." With that she left the kitchen for her room to.

Sighing Fíli rose as well and started to clear the table. He should've seen that coming but he wouldn't argue. Kíli's disappearance had hit his mother the hardest and he would try to help her as much as he could.

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"Do you see the river in front of us?"

Startled the dwarf looked up. Neither of them had spoken much this day, both tired of their ongoing travel. Trying to make out the river he squinted his eyes and could indeed see the river a few miles away.

"Yes. What does that mean?" he asked eagerly, hoping that meant something good like reaching the end of their journey.

"It's the river Bruinen or Loudwater. After we've crossed we will reach Rivendell in a few hours," the elf answered and the dwarf's face lit up. Excited he urged his horse to a faster pace and Elladan did the same.

Half an hour later they crossed the Ford of Bruinen and followed a narrow path into the mountains. Would he travel alone he would've missed it for sure so well hidden was it.

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"Father? Are you alright?" A concerned looking Elrohir stepped next to him, looking into his father's eyes. For some reason Elrond was agitated the whole day without an apparent reason.

"Yes, my son. I just have the feeling that your brother will be home soon," the half-elf finally answered with a sigh.

"But that's good, isn't it?" Elrohir answered while his mood brightened up. "And maybe then you stop worrying so much."

Looking at his younger son Elrond felt a bit guilty. As so often when Elladan left Rivendell he started to neglect some of his responsibilities and sometimes didn't think about his other children. After all he wasn't the only well who was concerned about Elladan. His brother and sister as well as his grandparents in Lothlórien were worried as well. But before he could abpologize he noticed Lindir approaching and turned to hear what he wanted.

"My lord Elrond," he began with a gracious bow of his head to both Elrond and Elrohir. "I have good news. Your son Elladan was sighted not far from here. He should arrive soon."

"That are indeed good news. I will go and meet him in the yard," Elrond answered and already started to leave but was stopped when he noticed Lindir had more to say. "Is there something else?"

"Yes," Lindir replied hesitantly, obviously not sure if it were good or bad news. "Your son is accompanied by some one but we couldn't make out who he is. It isn't someone we recognized."

Elrond thought about it for a moment but wasn't too concerned. If Elladan was followed by the stranger to harm him he would've done so long ago. Besides, Lindir would've said so if this was the case. It must be a friend of some sorts.

"Then I will greet him as well," he finally said and left with Elrohir in tow. They reached the yard just a few minutes later and waited patiently for the homecoming son and brother and his guest. They hadn't wait for long as soon they could hear the approaching sound of hooves. Just a minute later they could see Elladan on his stallion with his companion at the far end of the pass. When the two of them came nearer the elves noticed that the stranger wasn't an elf or a man. Instead it was a dwarf and they started to wonder where the two of them have met since dwarves weren't that fond about elves and the other way around.

"Why is Elladan traveling with a dwarf? I'm not aware that he has a friend among their kind," Elrohir echoed his thoughts, looking rather curious.

"I don't know but I think we will solve this puzzle soon enough," Elrond answered when the two travelers came to a stop in front of the. While Elladan looked glad to be home the dwarf looked around with big and curious eyes, fidgeting in his saddle before his eyes came to a stop at the sight of the two elves in front of him, a glimmer of hope in them.

 **AN:** I am so sorry that it took me so long to finish this chapter but I had problems with my back and couldn't sit anymore which meant I couldn't write either. And then I had problems to get started again. I hope it will work better from here on.


	5. High Expectations

**High Expectations**

He stared. He knew it was rude but he couldn't stop. But one of the two elves who stood in front of them must be his savior's father. Who may be able to help him remember. At least he hoped so. Since one of them looked exactly like Elladan and must be the twin his companion had told him of his gaze shifted to the other elf. He looked older than the twins, maybe a bit less beautiful, but so much wiser and nobler.

"My son," the older elf began and confirmed the dwarf's suspicion about his identity. "I am glad to see you after so long."

"Thank you, father. It is good to be home again," Elladan answered and dismounted from his steed. His dwarven friend followed swiftly. His movement gained the attention of the two elves, who studied him with obvious curiosity.

"May I ask who your friend is?" Elrond asked after he finished his observation.

"That is the reason why I brought him with me. He had an accident and, as a result, lost his memory. I don't know his name and neither does he. We hoped you may be able to help him," Elladan replied while the amnesiac dwarf looked embarrassed to the ground. He didn't know why he felt so. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't remember his name after all.

"I see. Then we should go inside and I will do what I can to help your young friend," Elrond said. "Leave your horses here. Others will look after them." Finished speaking, Elrond turned around, quickly followed by Elladan and Elrohir with the confused dwarf in tow. He wondered if all elves were that hospitably or if they were just friendly with him because he arrived with Elladan. Maybe the latter. He couldn't even remember the tiniest thing of his life like if he favored eggs for breakfast or beacon instead but he had the nagging feeling that most dwarves couldn't stand elves and the other way around.

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Elrond guided his sons and the dwarf to a room where they most likely wouldn't be disturbed. The dwarf looked nervous enough to not add more strangers. He wasn't really able to understand the difficulties the young dwarf must face with no memory since he hadn't lost his memory himself once. Sure, he had encountered elves and men who, after they bumped their heads, suffered retrograde amnesia. But those usually regained their memory after a few days. That the dwarf wasn't able to remember anything by know, considering how far they must have traveled, was troublesome and no good sign.

"Please sit down," he said and pointed at a narrow bed that served as examination table. Hesitating just for a moment the dwarf obediently hopped on the table and looked hopefully though nervously at his host.

"First of all: I need to know how you lost your memory," Elrond said and looked expectant at the two travelers. Taking a quick look at his young friend Elladan decided to do the talking and told his father and twin brother the story of the amnesiac dwarf. With every passing minute he talked the young dwarf looked more forlorn.

Pondering about the things he heard Elrond kept silent for some minutes in which his patient grew more agitated and nervous. Understanding that it must be very difficult for his charge he stopped his musings.

"I want to be truthfully to you. Normally you would have your memory back by now or at least started to regain them." At that the face of the dwarf fell and Elrond couldn't help but sympathize with him. "But that doesn't mean that you won't regain your memory. It's still possible that they return in time. Head injuries aren't easily to predict and each is different to the other. And there are still some test I can do though they need some more time."

"Will they bring my memory back?" the young dwarf asked hopefully.

"I can't promise you that but it is possible," Elrond answered with a soft voice and observed his patient carefully who, with a frown, considered what he'd heard.

"What will happen to me if this test doesn't help me?"

"You don't need to be afraid. One of this test may help to find to find out to which line you belong and I promise you that we will assist you as much as we can," Elrond replied, smiling reassuringly. "And if this test doesn't work as well you still have a few options like seeking out dwarven settlements. Maybe someone recognize you. Or you could stay here if you want." The elven lord could see that it was much to bear and decided to let his guest rest. "Come. It is enough for today as you must be tired from your journey." With that said he led his charge to one of the nearby guest chambers and bowed his head in farewell.

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He laid lazily in the soft bed and stared through the window. Rivendell was truly amazing. Beautiful with its waterfalls and greens. The surrounding mountains added just to its beauty. He tried not to think about his situation right now but found his thoughts returned to his examination an hour ago. It unsettled him that even the elves couldn't promise him that his memories would return. And from Elladan's tales it had sounded like Elrond was one of the best healers in the world. What unnerved him the most was that he had no name at the moment though. The other things he could learn anew. Like what he liked to eat and do. Even new abilities he could learn so that he would be able to live without his lost memories. A name was necessary though. He couldn't be the 'dwarf' forever. But he couldn't remember. Not the slightest hint his brain provided. During his journey he'd heard a lot of different names but non sounded like it suited him. They sounded _wrong_. Non of them were his. He couldn't tell how he knew he just did. He thought for what felt like hours but he couldn't remember his name so he tried to find a new name without much success. Maybe he could ask Elladan or his brother to help him. Get some books. He startled out of his musing when he heard a soft knock on and stood up to open the door. On the other side he was greeted by Elrond.

"Good evening, young one," the tall elf said with a smile. Funny, he hadn't noticed how much time had passed and that it already started to get dark. "I was wondering if you might be hungry." Hadn't the elf-lord said anything the dwarf wouldn't know how hungry he was by now but immediately after the mention of food his stomach started to growl. Slightly embarrassed he nodded and followed the elf to what must be a dining room. Elladan and Elrohir were already there, seated next to each other. Elrond led his guest to the chair opposite of his eldest and waited politely until the dwarf had settled before he sat down as well.

"I hope you were able to rest," Elrohir said and smiled at the dwarf. The short companion didn't know it, but the elf was grateful for his presence. Due to him his brother was more lively than in the last few decades what made him really happy.

"Yes, a little," he answered and watched how the food was served. Elrohir frowned at that comment. It didn't sound like his brother's new friend had truly rested. Noticing the frown the dwarf hurried to add something more. "It just bugged me that I have no name at the moment." He shrugged, trying not to make a big fuss about it but Elrohir knew how worried he was about this.

"You shouldn't worry about this, young one," Elrond said. "You might be remember your name soon or find a new one you like." Instead of an answer he just nodded and started to eat the food in front of him. It was cooked deliciously but there was no meat and was a bit unsatisfied. He didn't mentioned it though. That they hosted him at all and be so nice to him was more than he had expected.

He didn't add much to the conservation the three elves held because he hadn't anything to say and didn't knew a thing about the topic they discussed (it seemed about some other elves in another part of the world). He was thankful that they didn't expected him to say anything and they always answered his few questions politely.

After each of them finished their meal, Elrond raised and smiled at his young charge.

"Come, young one. I am sure you must be really exhausted," the elf said and led the dwarf through Rivendell back to his chamber.

"Why are you calling me that?" he asked curiously. He wanted to ask this question early but didn't wanted it in front of the elf's sons.

"Because you are really young – bot to my race and yours," Elrond said with a laugh though the dwarf wasn't offended by it. He already learned that it was a folk that liked to laugh (discounting Elladan who seemed to carry a heavy burden with him).

He said goodbye to the elf and laid down on the comfy bed. He needed just a few seconds before he slept deeply.

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Elrond returned to his library after he brought the dwarf back to his chamber. His sons were already there, sitting on a table.

"I must say, I am surprised that you brought him with you all the way, Elladan," he said to his oldest after he sat down himself.

"I am a bit surprised myself but I thought it was the right thing to do. He wouldn't have survived on his own without his memory," Elladan answered.

"True. But you could have brought him to one of the dwarven settlements instead. Is there another reason you brought him here?" Elladan looked at his father for some time before he sighed and nodded.

"Yes, actually, there is. He has a strong 'aura' and I wanted to ask you about it. It isn't something I have encountered before," he admitted and Elrond thought back to the few encounters he had with the dwarf. He hadn't noticed such a thing but he promised his son he would look into it.

 **AN:** I'm sorry it took so long but I was rather busy and had difficulties with this chapter. It wouldn't want to be written for some reason and it took me forever until I was somewhat satisfied.

TMI Fairy: Actually, Kili is 60and Fili 65 (17 years before the quest to Erebor) and just because Fili grieved alone in his room, crying doesn't mean he's a child or it means he's immature. Everyone should be allowed to cry when someone, especially family, dies (or in this case is believed dead).

I know he's blond in the book but I read it just once when I was 12 or so and I didn't remember it that much. I use mostly the movie and internet as background. I cannot imagine him as blond, so he stays brunette.

I like to use all the information I have to make my story believable and realistic in itself and to read a map isn't that hard though I'm not good with distances. The time they needed was just a guess though I related it to Frodo's journey to Rivendell.

My back is really better, though it still bother me sometimes.

Lederra & Victoria: It's good you like my story so far. I do my best to update sooner the next time. I cannot promise anything though as I have a full-time job.

Celebrisilweth: I was rather annoyed about the journey myself so I decided to quicken it up a bit. And as you could read in this chapter, Elrond has some guesses but no solution yet. It would've been to easy, wouldn't it?


	6. Something New

**Something New**

He'd been in Rivendell for a week by now and he still had no idea who he was or where he belonged to. Thankfully his hosts were friendly and didn't mind him asking questions. At first he had been rather subdued but after he overcame his early shyness he hadn't stopped asking anyone about anything that came to his mind. About Rivendell and the elves that lived there. Elves in general. Other races. About the other races, especially dwarves although his hosts didn't know much of them as they appeared to be a secretive folk, at least in regards of their culture.

Today he was wandering around Rivendell, exploring more of its wonders. Even though he had been at many places he hadn't found everything to find yet and he was determined to look at all the places he could go to, though Elrond had explained there were some places he wasn't allowed to on his own – like the armory or the room where they stored their healing supplies.

He stopped when he heard a swishing sound and turned to its direction. It seemed he had found the training grounds as there was Elladan – or was it Elrohir? – shooting arrows into targets. Curiously he walked nearer and stopped a few feet away to not disturb the elf. It was fascinating to watch – he never missed and all of his arrows landed where they were intended to. In fact, he had shot them in a special pattern that formed a strange symbol the dwarf had never seen before.

"Do you want to try?" Elladan asked after a while and the dwarf wasn't even surprised that the elf had noticed his arrival. He agreed and Elladan gave him his bow. With knitted brows he placed himself in front of the targets and nocked an arrow. Drawing the string back to his ear he took aim and let loose. He watched how the arrow flew and landed exactly where he wanted – right in the center. It was astonishing how easily it was. He had thought he would have at least some problems as dwarves weren't known for archery but it went rather effortlessly. Even Elladan looked surprised.

"Either this was sheer luck or you're a trained archer. Shoot some more and we know for sure," Elladan said after he overcame his initial surprise. His voice sounded serious as he knew as well as the dwarf that it was one more piece of the puzzle. To find an archer amongst dwarves should be easier than anything else.

The young dwarf nodded and nocked another arrow. He didn't waste time to aim this time and let it loose as soon as he brought its tip into the right direction. Again, it went right into the center of the target. More arrows followed fluently and none missed its goal. He could feel his heart beating in excitement. He pulled more arrows out of the quiver and tried to shoot arrows while moving. This time though his aim wasn't as good. True, all of his arrows till hit something – but only half of them were deadly and some wouldn't hurt much. It was amazing nonetheless. To reach this level of ability wasn't easy, especially since dwarves weren't known for shooting.

"Well, who would have thought. A dwarven master archer," an amused voice sounded from behind and both turned around to see Elrohir joining them. Indeed, he looked like he had watched them for some time but neither elf nor dwarf had noticed his arrival.

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"You can't be serious!" Dís shouted and stared at her brother. She didn't stay still for long, though and started to pace. "You can't stop looking for Kíli! He's still out there and needs our help! You can't just abandon your own nephew!"

It was almost a repeat of their disagreement a month ago and he had no idea why she'd brought it up again. It even started with the same line but Thorin doubted it will have another outcome as last time. He wasn't any happier than his sister but he had made his decision. Now he had to make sure Dís understood his reasoning or they would face hard times. Fíli looked equally unhappy but seemed to understand.

"I don't want to abandon him. I know he's my responsibility but I can't ignore my responsibilities to our folk either. And I can't place my nephew before the needs of our people if they are in need," he said and spoke about the many messengers who brought news about orc-raids and famine they caused. "If I hear any news I will follow them, but we have nothing."

"Then you have find a lead," Dís said stubbornly but Thorin could see the doubt in her eyes.

"I can't. Not now," Thorin replied and shook his head. "But I promise you that I will look for him again as soon as I find just the tiniest lead. And I will ask everyone we can trust to ask around when there is time." Dís looked at him with watery eyes before she stormed into her room to cry in solitude. Thorin sighed and turned to his remaining nephew. "I am sorry, Fíli."

"I understand your decision, Uncle. I don't like it, but I know why you did it," Fíli answered with a sigh of his own. It saddened him but he could see how much it hurt his uncle and he had listened to the reports, too.

They didn't speak any more about Kíli this day. Instead they tried to find solutions for the hungry and scared dwarves. Those raids had come at a certainly most unwelcome time but complaining wouldn't help anyone. And even though he wished for better times, he could use this as a lesson for Fíli.

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It had been an entertaining and revealing day. It had been fun to watch Elladan practicing his skills with a bow, even though he had no idea why he still had to practice as his aim was perfect. But to learn that he himself was a rather good archer too was even more exciting. It wasn't an everyday skill and it restored some of his past. He still had no memories of the past, though, which worried him. He had wished that some of his memories would return as soon as he encountered some uncommon ability. And in his opinion a dwarven archer did count as uncommon.

He still hoped that, in time, his memories would return and Elladan and Elrohir had been most encouraging and seemed as excited as he was about his new-found ability. But they hadn't heard from any dwarf who was as good as him with a bow before and could give him no lead. Maybe Elrond knew something and he could ask him soon, as they were on their way to their usual shared dinner.

They entered the dining room together and stopped immediately when they saw that Elrond wasn't alone. At the far end of the room a tall, blonde she-elf stood, looking at Rivendell's beauty. When she heard them enter she turned around and smiled at the three arrivals.

"Elladan," she said, still smiling, "Elrohir. It is a joy to see you both." Her voice was melodic but held a strength the dwarf couldn't explain. The twins quickly stepped away from the door to greet the woman properly. The young dwarf mused she must be some sort of relative as they seemed quite familiar and comfortable around each other though he couldn't see many similarities.

"And who is your young friend?" the she-elf asked and startled Elrond's guest. He looked wide-eyed at her, not knowing what to say. She made him quite nervous, even though he loathed to admit it. He instinctively knew she should be considered as dangerous and treated carefully but he could see no harm in her appearance. Just warmth. What made him even more nervous. Suddenly the blonde elf laughed and the dwarf's eyes grew even more wider – could the she-elf read minds?

"This is Galadriel, the Lady of the Light. She lives in Lothloríen and is the mother of our mother," Elrohir said after a while when neither started to speak. He then turned to the tall woman. "To our regret we cannot tell you his name as we do not know it. And he doesn't either as he lost all of his memories in an accident over a month ago. Elladan brought him here from the Ered Luin in hope to find help." He left unspoken that they hadn't been successful.

"I greet you, young one," Galadriel said with a smile. There was no hint of disgust, just friendliness. "Worry not. You will find your place again." The dwarf could only shoot her a puzzled look before he sat down. The Lady chose to sit opposite of Elrond next to Elrohir.

It was a quiet and a bit uncomfortable meal. Elrond and his sons spoke with their new guest – and family member – about her home and the latest happenings. Nothing the dwarf could contribute with. Suddenly he could feel the Lady's eyes on him and he looked up to meet hers.

"If you want any help, just ask. I won't bite," she said with a small smile. He worried his lip for and tried to come to a decision. He had no idea if he could trust her as he met her just an hour ago. But he knew the three male elves trusted her and he trusted them well enough. Maybe the she-elf could and would help him. Besides, the worst that could happen was that she would say no.

"Can you help me regain my memories? Lord Elrond hasn't had any luck so far," he asked and looked her steadily into the eyes, not wanting to show any uncertainty even if it was there.

"Perhaps," Galadriel said and put aside her cutlery to turn to the dwarf fully. She held out her hand expectantly and the dwarf raised and stepped to her, knowing what she wanted. He put his hand into hers and allowed her to pull him toward her. Galadriel then bowed to be on eye-level with the dwarf and looked him deep into the eyes. She didn't blink the entire time and she stared at him – _into him_ – for several minutes. He couldn't look away, too mesmerized was he by her stare. Then, finally, she blinked and straightened again.

"Don't worry. Your memories are still there, just locked away," Galadriel said and smiled at him again. "Unfortunately time is the only key to unlock it. You have to be patient, Livon." He frowned. He'd hoped to get a better answer but was glad at the same time that he hadn't lost his memories entirely. Then his mind caught up the last word she'd said.

"What is the last word you said, Lady?" he asked with a puzzled expression.

"It is not a word but a name. Your new name until we learn the name given to you by birth," she answered kindly.

"What does it mean?" he asked, not yet sure if he liked it or not.

"It means 'link' in Sindarin and as I see in you the potential to be a link between dwarves and elves I deem it quite fitting," she explained. "Maybe someday our races can live with each other in peace. Not mistrusting each action of the other." The young dwarf thought it over and could only agree. He knew instinctively of the deep mistrust between the races but at the same time got along with those elves he met so far quite well. He even liked them and could see no reason for dwarves not to. Maybe it would change in time. He just hoped no one would expect too much of him.

"I like it," he answered and smiled tentatively at the she-elf. Her smile widened even more and she seemed to glow. He then looked at the male elves and could see them smiling too.

"It is a good name," Elrond said and he twins nodded in agreement. Livon – as he was named now as such – smiled back at them and they continued their dinner. The atmosphere wasn't as tense as before anymore and the conversation went more smoothly, though it was only an hour later when he excused himself from the room. He was tired and a bit overwhelmed. Again. Hopefully a good night sleep would help him to bring order to his thoughts again.

 **AN:** Hi everyone. I apologize – again – that it took so long but the past months had been quite busy. In my job we had so much work to do that I couldn't write when I got home so exhausted was I. I tried though, but it wasn't even near of satisfying.

So finally Kíli has a new name. It'd became quite tiresome to call him just a dwarf. I searched for a long time and finally decided on this one. It may be a bit obvious but then, sometimes it is for the better. And in my opinion a meaning is always good, especially in Lord of the Rings.


	7. Discovering Hidden Secrets

**Discovering Hidden Secrets**

After the elves finished their meal too they made themselves comfortable in Elrond's study. Elrond looked at his wife's mother but said nothing. He knew it would be fruitless if he tried to push the Lady into speaking. His sons followed his example. Finally, Galadriel turned around to face the Rivendell elves.

"What did you see in the dwarf, my lady?" Elrond asked, still curious about the encounter of the she-elf and their guest. "Elladan said he has an aura of a kind differently of any dwarf he – and probably I – ever met."

"I could feel it as well. Never before did I encounter a dwarf like him," Galadriel replied, her smile vanished from her face and turned into a thoughtful expression. "But then, he's no full dwarf." The male elves looked at her in surprise. Livon looked like a dwarf though he was tall for one. It was hard to believe but they knew Galadriel wouldn't lie. She never did.

"What other blood flows in his blood?" Elrohir asked after he found his voice again. His twin still seemed to be speechless.

"I sense the light of the Eldar in him," she answered and Elrond drew in a sharp breath. A union of man and elf was rare but heard of. His own grandfather had been a man. But to think an elf and a dwarf would form such a bond was unthinkable. Dwarves loathed elves and most elves were not fond of dwarves either.

"Do you know who his elven parent is?" Elladan inquired. He looked as startled as his brother and father.

"No. But I know it is the father," Galadriel replied with a small sigh. She didn't like to be in the dark. "And that Livon did not know either." She could tell as much even with the memory loss. Her eyes turned to the Lord of Rivendell. "If I recall correctly you know how to figure out someone's blood line?"

"Yes. I have to know those relatives, though. Without this knowledge it is as good as useless," Elrond replied with a nod. "I wanted to use it anyway. I promised Livon to try anything possible, even though I warned him it might be to no avail."

"As you know more elves than dwarves it will probably more successful than before," Galadriel said. "You should do it tomorrow. I want to know who his father is."

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The next morning was as nice as the day before but for some reason Livon's sleep had been restless. Bleary-eyed and with his hair rumpled he climbed out of the bed and washed his face with cold, fresh water.

With no apparent reason he had dreamed of the day he fell into the river Lhûn. When he thought back at the few glimpses he remembered he still felt terrified. It had been so awful to be in the torrent water without being able to do anything. Without Elladan he would be dead for sure.

He couldn't explain the dream, though. Had it something to do with the appearance of Lady Galadriel? True, she was a bit odd and somewhat of a mystery but she'd done nothing except look at him as if she could see right through his soul. Maybe she could. But it hadn't been unpleasant. Just strange.

Still pondering about his nightmare he dressed in comfortable clothes his hosts equipped him with. They were nothing alike those he wore when Elladan pulled him out of the river and when he looked in the mirror he could be mistaken as a small man. He wasn't sure what to think of that as he was sure he was a dwarf and should look like one. But he had neither the thick, full beard nor the bulky build dwarves were known of. All he had was a stubbly beard and a slender build.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his musings and he turned to the door. When the door swung open it revealed to be Lindir, a counselor of Lord Elrond or something like that.

"Good morning, Livon. Lord Elrond wishes to see you," the elf said and bowed his head slightly in greeting. Like most elves he was always polite to those he conversed with. And it seemed the elves living in Rivendell knew already of his knew name. Instead of an answer though he just nodded and followed the elf lord out of his room.

"Why does Lord Elrond want to see me?" he asked after they'd walked for several minutes.

"You may ask himself for the reason as he hasn't told me," Lindir replied and opened the door to the room Livon recognized as the room he had been examined by the Lord of Rivendell the first day. He walked past Lindir, who closed the door without entering himself, and looked at Elrond who sat on a table, reading a book. When Livon entered he looked up and smiled at the suddenly nervous looking dwarf.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked the elf lord and stopped a few feet away from Elrond.

"Yes," Elrond replied and put away the book. "Do you remember when I said I may know a way to determine from which lineage you are?" Livon nodded and licked his lips nervously. He had already wondered when the elf lord would try it.

"I intend to do it today. I can't promise you anything, though," Elrond explained. "It is a difficult technique and isn't always successful."

Livon pondered about Lord Elrond's words but knew there was only one answer, one path to follow lest he regret it later. "I want to try it."

"Good. Please sit down," Elrond said and waved at a chair next to him. Livon silently followed his order and waited for the elf to continue. He had no clue how this would work and was both curious and nervous at the same time. Elrond positioned his chair opposite from him and raised his hand.

"I will lay my hand atop of your head," Elrond warned the dwarf and Livon nodded, appreciating the gesture. "And the words you will hear will be in Sindarin, not Westron." He nodded again and Elrond touched his head with his hand and began to sing in a language he didn't understand. His voice was low and pleasant, though, and the words sounded nonthreatening. It took him a few moments to realize that the elf's hand was emitting a light glow. He wondered if all elves could do that or just an elected few.

He didn't know how long Elrond sung. It could be mere minutes or hours. Time didn't matter and when the elf finally stopped it was like he emerged from a dream-like trance. His mind needed a few minutes to register the sudden silence and he blinked a few times to clear his vision.

"And?" he asked anxiously when the elf lord said nothing.

"This was just the first step. I need to meditate before I can tell you more," Elrond replied with an apologetically smile. "You may go. Your presence isn't necessary for this." Livon nodded and turned to leave. He had seen elves meditating before and knew it probably would take hours. It would be better if he busied himself with something. Maybe going to the shooting range again. He would start with a healthy breakfast though as he hasn't eaten yet.

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Unbeknownst to young Livon Elladan too felt restless for the very same reason. He had no idea why he felt so strong, though. Yes, he cared for the young dwarf. And yes, he was curious. It didn't explain his uneasiness. He sighed and left his breakfast alone. He hadn't eaten much and wasn't hungry anyway. He craved for a release of this tension. Maybe Elrohir would be up for a spar?

With the decision made he went to look for his brother. He doubted Elrohir still slept. Like Elladan, he was an early riser. The first room he looked was his twin's room but it was empty. The eating hall was out of question as he had been there before he left. The way to the library was waste of time, too and Elladan really began to wonder where his brother had vanished to when he nearly run into him after turned around a corner.

"There you are!" he exclaimed a bit startled. He hadn't heard the other elf due to the silent movements elves usually made and his own thoughtfulness.

"Were you looking for me?" his twin asked with an amused smile plastered on his face.

"Yes. I wanted to ask if you're up for a spar," Elladan replied, scowling at his younger brother. He didn't like being surprised. To his surprise he saw how Elrohir's smile fell and a small frown appeared on his face.

"You're telling me my bath was a waste of time in the end?" Elrohir asked with a theatrical sigh. Only now Elladan realized where the other had come from: clad in a bathrobe with a towel over his shoulder it was quite obvious.

"Sorry," Elladan said without sounding like he was really sorry. He knew his brother was only joking. "So, do you want to spar?"

"Sure. I'll be out in a minute," Elrohir said, finally dropping his pity-yearning tone. Elladan nodded his thanks and walked towards the training grounds, leaving his brother to dress properly.

It was only ten minutes later when Elrohir arrived, wearing comfortable cloths suitable for a spar. Elladan picked up two of the training sword and threw one to his brother who caught it without a problem. The swords weren't sharp but hurt nonetheless if handled carelessly.

Both sons of Elrond switched into a battle stance and waited for the other to move. When Elrohir didn't do anything except circling his twin Elladan finally decided to made the first move. He wanted to release some steam, after all,

What followed was a fast exchanges of slashes and blows with each elf hit in a way that would left bruises later on. No broken bones, though. They moved faster than any man or dwarf could do and their strokes spoke of strength. That they were able to avoid serious injuries spoke of their self-control.

Elladan didn't knew how long he and his brother already sparred but noticed when Livon arrived and started to hover on the edge of the training grounds, watching the two elves fight. He must be finished with their father and Elladan wondered what the result will be. Reading his brother's expression, he realized he'd noticed the dwarf's appearance too. They exchanged some meaningful glances and decided to continue. Livon would probably be fascinated by their fight and guilty if they stopped because of him. And they wanted to avoid any question the dwarf might have concerning their father's technique.

They sparred for another half an hour before they stopped, declaring the fight a tie as neither brother could gain the upper hand. By now it was well into the forenoon and he wondered if his father had already found a relative of the dwarf.

"That was amazing!" Livon exclaimed after they turned to face him. He grinned widely and almost bounced up and down from excitement.

"Thank you," Elrohir said and took a sip of the cold water that was always present at the training grounds. He then passed the water skin to his brother who also drunk some for refreshment. "Want to try for yourself?" Livon nodded excitedly and Elladan passed his training sword to the dwarf. He was more relaxed than this morning and his brother seemed eager to teach their young guest. He was content to watch.

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While the twins entertained their young guest Elrond still sat in the examination room, emerging from the deep meditation he had been in. He had found sooner a result than he'd estimated and what he found wasn't what he'd expected. He wondered if the Lady had expected this. Maybe she hadn't wanted to say anything without proof. With a sigh Elrond stood up and stretched his tight muscles. He knew that his next conversation would be difficult at best.


	8. Truth Hurts

**Truth Hurts**

When Elrond left the examination room he felt weary despite that it wasn't even noon yet. He was on his way to his study to speak with the Lady. He was sure she waited for him, eager to learn what he learned. In front of the door to his study he stopped for a moment. His mind was still reeling and he needed to take a deep breath to compose himself. It was never wise to speak with Galadriel when distracted, even when she would never hold it against someone.

When he stepped into the room Galadriel was indeed waiting at the window. Probably observing his sons and their guest at the training ground which could be seen from his study. He had seen them on his way here.

"You are finished early," she said and studied his face. He wasn't sure what she saw and her expression betrayed nothing.

"Yes, in the end it was quite easy to find his elvish relatives. I even got a glimpse who might be his dwarven family but I can't focus enough to narrow it down enough," Elrond answered after he closed the door. For this conversation they needed no listeners. The Lady narrowed her eyes, sensing his attempt to avoid the inevitable.

"Tell me, who is the dwarf's father?" she asked, not leaving any way for delaying.

"It seems that my son met a dwarven woman in his lost period over sixty years ago," Elrond replied, his voice pained. He didn't want his son to remind this dreadful time but they couldn't avoid it. Galadriel's eyes widened in surprise and Elrond realized she really hadn't known. She, too, knew what it meant for her eldest grandchild and could understand Elrond's hesitation.

"Maybe this is the reason why Elladan liked Livon so fast," she finally said and sighed. "He hasn't let anyone near since it happened. His soul must have known the truth." Elrond nodded in agreement. He had wondered about that, too.

"When will you tell them?" Galadriel asked after some minutes of silence.

"When they're finished with their training. I will speak with Livon first, though," the elf lord replied. By now he stood next to Galadriel at the window and watched the training grounds. Livon was sparring with Elrohir at the moment, with Elladan observing them. This would be difficult for all of them and he didn't want to interrupt the carefree time they had. Not yet anyway.

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Livon's whole body ached, but he didn't mind. It was fun to spar with Elrohir, even if he stood no chance against him. Fortunately, the elf didn't hit him with all his power or he would be heavily bruised later on. He also noticed that, when he stopped thinking about his next moves, he fought more easily.

It was finally Elrohir who stopped their spar. With a small chuckle he threw the water-skin to the dwarf who drank thankfully. He hadn't noticed how thirsty he had become. When he turned around he saw the reason for the break: Lindir stood next to Elladan, waiting for them to be finished with their training. Livon's forgotten anxiety returned instantly. He walked towards the elf, giving Elrohir the skin when he walked by.

"Does Lord Elrond want to see me again?" he asked.

"Yes. He's waiting in his study for you. I'll escort you," Lindir replied and turned around and Livon followed. He was a bit surprised that Elrond wasn't in the examination room any more but didn't question the elf lord who walked in front of him. It as Lord Elrond's house, after all, and he could be everywhere he wished.

Soon enough, they arrived and Livon entered the bright room. Elrond stood at the window, watching the grounds but turned around when he heard the door open. He offered Livon a small smile and Livon's heart beat faster. Did he found relatives of him, after all?

"Please sit down, Livon," Elrond said and waved at a group of comfortable looking armchairs. But then, Livon hadn't found a single piece of furniture in this house that wasn't comfortable. He sat down and Elrond quickly followed, sitting opposite of him again but with more space between them as before in the examination room. He waited for the elf lord to continue.

"Before I tell you what I found I need to explain to you why Elladan was in the west when he found you," Elrond said and earned a puzzled look from Livon. What had Elladan's journey to do with his relatives? He didn't question Lord Elrond, though, realizing that he would learn the reason soon enough.

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 _Sixty-one years ago:_

 _Elladan and Elrohir, along with a group of guards of Rivendell, had visited Círdan, the Shipwright, at the Grey Havens with a message from their father. The journey had been uneventful with just one small skirmish with orcs and when they arrived they were greeted warmly by Círdan. The bearded elf was always kind and welcoming to those he cherished and at least polite to those he did not. Of Elrond and his offspring, he was always fond of and thus the twins had made the errand willingly._

 _They stayed for a few days, sharing news of the world. When they finally rode out of Mithlond, as the Grey Havens were also called, they carried a return-message for their father. It was three days after they left, still following the_ _Lhûn,_ _that they were ambushed by a large band of orcs. Despite the surprising attack, the elves were able to push back the orcs and killed most of them. Some of them escaped, though, and when the small layer of snow settled again they noticed something amiss. Elladan was nowhere to be seen. A frantic search started but ten minutes later it was quite obvious that they wouldn't find Elrond's eldest son. The orcs must have kidnapped him for a reason no one knew. Orcs usually took no prisoners._

 _Dispatching one of his men to report to his father and another back to the Grey Havens, Elrohir refused to leave the Ered Luin. He would only leave when he found his brother. During the next two weeks the elves searched through the mountains without any sign of his brother. They found several groups of orcs and always questioned them about his brother's whereabouts but none of them could or would give him an answer. They only laughed at his misery._

 _Elrohir's despair grew with each passing day. He could remember the time his mother had been kidnapped – another action out of the ordinary – only too well. And how broken she had been when they had found her, miraculously still alive. She had decided to sail west though, rather to stay with her family. He only hoped Elladan wouldn't be as broken and hurt as their mother when they found him. If they found him alive, that is._

 _Three days later, they finally found him outside of the mountains. He looked dirty and disheveled. And the look in his eyes was filled with horror that send a chill through Elrohir's spine. His fears had become true. They had found him alive but in a state he'd never wished for anyone. Elladan seemed glad to see them, though. But when they asked him what happened he couldn't answer. He couldn't remember anything that happened in the past two and a half weeks. Even of the ambush they had been in he could only remember glimpses._

 _They returned to Imladris and met their father half way there. Elrond seemed glad to see Elladan alive but was as concerned as his youngest son about his health. Back at home he examined Elladan closely but couldn't find any source for his memory loss. His son must have forgotten what happened on purpose. He didn't want to remember. Something truly terrible must have happened to shock his usually brave son that much and Elrond didn't push. Elladan would come to him if he was ready to speak. He never did, though. And the memory gap wasn't the only thing he lost as he lost also his will to live, too. Only the pleading of his family let him stay alive and in Middle Earth. It was only a small comfort but they never gave up and in time Elladan got better, even just in small steps. It was a good sign, though._

"Since then, my son regularly travels to the Blue Mountains," Elrond finished his tale and fell silent. Livon could only gape at him in shock. Something this terrible happened to his savior? He couldn't imagine something like this happen to him and survive. Sure, on their journey to Rivendell he had felt that Elladan was sometimes very silent and sad but never had he imagined it was because of this. The elf hadn't seemed like he had such a horrible past. He felt even more grateful for the tall elf though he had no idea why it was relevant right now.

He stayed silent for several minutes, still thinking about what Elrond had told him but still waiting for the information about his family. When the elf lord hadn't found anything he would have say so by now, of that he was sure.

"It saddens me to hear that Elladan had to endure this," he said finally when Elrond didn't. "But I cannot see what this has to do with my family."

Elrond sighed and ran a hand over his hair. "We do not know for certain but I think when my son was captured at that time – by what foe I have no idea – that he wasn't alone. I strongly believe this enemy had captured also a woman. A dwarven woman." Livon stared at him while his mind worked hardly. Slowly the pieces of the puzzle found its match and he started to breath faster.

"He forced himself on her," he whispered and a single tear rolled down his cheek. He was sure the woman must've been his mother.

Elrond's eyes widened in surprise and shock. "Oh no, child, no. I know my son. He would never have done so. His capturers must have used a strong aphrodisiac or an evil spell. Elladan would never hurt an innocent on his own will," he hurried to say and Livon looked up into his eyes to see if this was his honest meaning. He could see no lie. "He will never forgive himself when he hears of this. You must believe me."

Livon continued to stare for a while before he nodded and looked rather guilty. He hadn't meant to blame his rescuer…his father. Father. He remembered when he looked into the mirror this morning. He couldn't see anything elvish like in his appearance. Apart from his too tall and too slender built for a dwarf.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice trembling. He needed to hear it out loud.

"Yes. The technique I used shows me the souls of the person's relatives. It showed me that your dwarvish relatives are still alive. But I need to know them to be able to tell you who they are," Elrond explained and shot him an apologetic look. "Sadly, I never met them, though they seem vaguely familiar. Not enough to narrow it down enough to find them." Livon nodded, not really understanding how it works but accepting the explanation. It seemed logical. "To my surprise there were some souls far nearer than the Blue Mountains. And as I know my family quite well it was easy from that point. It was quite a shock."

Livon studied the elf lord in front of him – his grandfather – any could only see true honesty. And a warmth he couldn't explain. It was very similar to the looks he gave to his sons. And that made no sense to him. Elrond barely knew him and just learned of their relationship. Surely he could not already love him?

"You must know, Livon, that children a rare, very rare in elfish society. They are more cherished than anything else and it doesn't matter how they look like or if they aren't fully elven. My grandfather had been a man but it does not matter to those I cherish. You are of my blood and a part of my son. I cannot not love you and my sons will feel the same," Elrond tried to reassure his newly-found grandchild. "After they overcame the shock, of course." A small smile flashed over Livon's face. "All we ask in return is that you allow us to be your family."

"What about my dwarven family? I don't think I can't simply give them up. They must be worried and I want to know them. Know who they are. Remember them again." The last was said in a whisper. He was still struggling with his lack of memories and now that he knew that there was a family back in the mountains, waiting for him, it was even harder.

"Of course you can't. And you won't be pushed to do so. I will instruct all the elves in my household to ask around if they are around dwarven settlements," Elrond vowed. "We will find them, no matter how long it takes." The young half-dwarf looked at him with watery eyes and nodded.

 **AN:** __Well, here's the next chapter. It is the first part of an emotional rollercoaster as Elrond still has to tell his son(s).

TMI Fairy, readergirl4985 & syeern: I couldn't resist to make a cliffhanger. Stories need sometimes a cliffy. And it wouldn't have fitted into the last chapter anyway as I try to not make each chapter too long or too varied in their lengths.


	9. Truth Hurts II

**Truth Hurts II**

Tiredly Elrond leaned back in his armchair, with a glass of wine in his hand. Livon had left an hour ago to his room. He needed solitude right now, not company from his father and uncle. He closed his eyes. It was still hard to believe that his eldest son was already a father himself, although unknowingly and not during the best of circumstances. And Elladan still did not know and Elrond had no idea how to tell him best. It certainly would bring him near his breaking point, of that was Elrond sure.

He sighed before taking another sip. To avoid this topic, though, would make matters just words. Livon would surely want to speak with Elladan about this in the near future and it would have catastrophic consequences if he didn't know about his fatherhood. A knock at the door disturbed him from his pondering. After he allowed entrance he saw both his sons entering and knew that time for brooding was over. The twins adopted a surprised look when they saw their father with a glass of wine in hand, brooding about something, even if it was barely noon.

"Ada! What are you doing in here, brooding alone? Did Livon's examination not go well?" Elrohir asked concerned. It was so unlikely for Elrond to drink alone, even if it seemed to be only that one glass as there was no bottle nearby. They both frowned when Elrond shot them a thoughtful glance before waving at a nearby sofa. His sons shared a confused glance before following Elrond's wish.

"What did you found, Ada?" Elrohir asked, remembering what his father had done earlier. He was curious about Livon's elven family and assumed his father knew them, considering the rather disturbed expression his father still had.

Elrond sighed before he shot a sad look at his eldest. "I found his elvish family, and know who his father is," he said and then decided to not delay this conversation. There was no easy way to tell. "You are, Elladan." Two identical gasps sounded in the study and the twins' eyes grew wide.

"How?" Elladan breathed. He was as white as a sheet and his brother didn't fare any better.

"It happened during the time you were taken by the orcs," Elrond said with a pained expression. It always hurt to think back to that time. "Sixty-one years ago. My guess is that the orcs – or their masters – used a potion or a spell to…" He couldn't say it. It was too horrible to speak aloud. His sons looked horrified. They immediately knew what their father was speaking about.

"It does not have happened that way," Elladan said finally, a stubborn streak on his face and a glint in his eyes that hadn't been there for a long time. "It could have happened without an outside force."

"Perhaps. But I never met a dwarf who at least was neutral to an elf. I cannot see a dwarrowdam doing it willingly," Elrond countered, still not being able to name the actual event, despite his age and that he was a father of three.

"It's true what you say, Ada. It does not mean that it is impossible, though," Elrohir said, agreeing with his brother. "Miracles happen sometimes. Look at Glorfindel. He returned from the dead, which should be impossible. A liaison between a dwarf and an elf in a desperate situation? Possible." Elrohir shrugged. "The fact is: we do not know and we shouldn't make rash conclusions." Elrond was surprised at his son's wisdom. He hadn't thought of this possibility and scolded himself that he hadn't. Livon probably felt guilty for the pain his parents had endured. He sighed.

"You are right. We should not," he said and smiled a little, proud at his son's quick thinking.

"What about Livon? How did he take it?" Elladan asked, worried about the youngster. Like most elves he loved family and he wouldn't shun his son despite the reason he came to life. A new spark of life shone in his eyes and filled both his father and brother with hope.

"He is confused and I fear I let him think about the worst-case scenario. I should speak with him again or else these thoughts settle in his mind. I was obviously not in the best state of mind when I spoke to him," Elrond said and looked slightly guilty. He still remembered the desperate look of his grandchild.

"I'll do it," Elladan said, determined to form a connection with his son. Elrond wanted to protest, not wanting to let his son take the consequences of his mistakes but was stopped by Elrohir.

"Elladan should do it. Livon trust him the most and will most likely believe him as he is his father." Seeing the reason in his son's words Elrond finally nodded his agreement.

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When Elladan left the study he first leaned against the next wall. Even after all those years he still had nightmares about this time, even though he never remembered what they were about when he woke. Before the incident he had never understood the reason why his mother sailed west. But after his rescue he'd only felt despair and pain and coldness. His remaining family had barely been able to keep him alive and in Middle Earth.

He would never have dreamed of anything positive emerge from that time but a son did count as a positive outcome. For the first time he wanted to remember, for Livon's sake. The lad needed to know and he needed as well. Without this knowledge they would always worry and wonder.

It would be difficult but he was determined to learn the truth. He knew the track was long cold and that they had next to nothing to go with but he wouldn't give up. And he knew his brother would support him. But first he needed to get to know Livon anew. Not as a friend, but as a son. With his mind set he pushed himself from the wall and walked towards the guest room the young half-dwarf resided in.

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Thorin watched his nephew from the corner of his eyes. The lad had been terribly silent lately and barely spoke, though it doesn't surprise him. He himself was still burdened by the loss of Kíli and knew the hole in his heart wouldn't ever fully heal.

At the moment, though, they needed to be alert as they were on their way to a dwarven settlement, together with Balin and Dwalin. He nudged Fíli with his elbow and the young dwarf snapped out of his thoughts and shot him an apologetic look. Thorin noted satisfied that his nephew started to pay closer attention to their surroundings.

They could already see the small group of houses when a shout from behind made them stop. It sounded like a dwarf and when they turned they could indeed see a dwarrow hurrying to catch up with them. Thorin narrowed his eyes and scrutinized the newcomer's face as it seemed vaguely familiar. When he came closer he recognized him as Frár, one of the scouts he had send to look for both his missing nephew and anything that could help them enduring their exile.

"What've you got, Frár?" Dwalin asked just after the scout skidded to a stop.

"I've patrolled the Lhûn, searching for any sign of Kíli," Frár started his report after gulping down some air, "when I found a place where someone camped for a short time. The ground at the shore was trampled down and there were even some stones in the river where it would have been possible to drag someone out." The scout had the attention of all four dwarves who dared not to breath in fear to overhear what they all wished to hear.

"And I found this," Frár said and opened his palm to reveal a hair-clasp that at least Fíli and Thorin recognized as Kíli's. "It was at the place of the camp."

"Do you know where they went?" Thorin asked, eagerly to learn something new about his youngest nephew's fate.

"I tried to follow the trail eastwards but I didn't get far as it started to rain yesterday and washed away all signs. They could be anywhere," Frár said grimly, seeing how their faces fell.

"Did you find any hint who was with Kíli? Maybe we can find him that way," Balin inquired but was disappointed when the dwarrow shook his head.

"No. All I could tell that it wasn't a dwarf. The footprints were not of the shape of dwarven boots," Frár said and the group groaned desperately.

"Then it is possible that Kíli's not anywhere near the Blue Mountains," Fíli said and seemed utterly crestfallen. Thorin couldn't do anything but agree: his lost nephew could be everywhere when he was dragged out of the river at the east shore. Men didn't cross the river often. He barely listened how Balin and Dwalin questioned Frár a bit longer and then thanked him.

"What are we going to do now, Uncle? This is the first lead we have of Kíli in weeks!" Fíli asked, with hope shining clearly in his blue eyes.

"Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do. It is winter and we cannot spare many for a search this wide-spread. The groups would need to be big enough to fight against bandits and orcs and we cannot leave our settlements unprotected," Thorin said and hated to see the disappointment in Fíli's whole posture. His nephew didn't argue, though. He just nodded and turned around to walk towards the village again. Thorin shared a look with Balin and Dwalin before he followed the blonde dwarf. He had a feeling it would take years until he could see Kíli again.

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Fíli's mood was at its worst. He thought he had accepted his decision to live on. Kíli, after all, wouldn't want him to be depressed all his life. It had only worked for a few days after Balin and Dwalin's arrival and now he was as silent as never before and when forced to speak he would answer in short, snappish sentences.

And now, they were on their way to do the first not-Kíli-related mission since this dreadful day. It wasn't that he didn't understand Thorin's reasons for not following the vanishing trail actively, because he did. His mind agreed, but his heart did not.

And then the scout had come. When he heard the first sentences hope had flared in him and even though Frár hadn't found his brother Fíli was still relieved to hear he had at least find some proof that Kíli was still alive. It wasn't much and there was a chance that it meant nothing but it was better than nothing. But Kíli might be everywhere and Fíli knew it could take years to search all possible – and maybe even impossible – places his brother may have gone to. The prospect wouldn't stop him, not when he was determined to see his baby brother again.

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Dís had stood at the door of their hut for a long time, looking after the small company that had left to answer a call from a nearby village. She watched the sun rise slowly, reflecting its brilliance from the snow. It had hurt to see her brother and son leave for a task that hadn't anything to do with her youngest.

Finally, after her feet got tired from the long standing, she turned around to enter her home and busy herself with some work. She still believed Kíli was still alive and she would never lose this hope. She would cling to it like a lifeline lest she would break into pieces.

 **AN:** I don't have much to say, other than how glad I am that my muse had found me again, so I'll just answer the reviews I got for the last chapter.

readergirl4985: I am pleased to hear that you continue to like my story. I hope you found this chapter as satisfying as the last.

TMI Fairy: Thank you for repeatedly reviewing to me, it makes me really happy. …I wonder how much this bridge cost…? :-)

syeern: 1. You're right: it is prone to draw the wrong conclusion but Elrond was just too shocked to think of all the possibilities at that moment. I hope this chapter made it more clear. 2. Dís is Kíli's mother. She was missing at the same time as Elladan was, though I haven't said it was due to orcs. 3. Since there was no place in the last chapter the update for the dwarves is in this one. They do as well as one can expect, I suppose.


	10. Difficult Conversations

**Difficult Conversations**

After he left Elrond's study Livon retired to his room to think. He now sat on the balcony attached to his room and stared at the surrounding mountains. He would call it a beautiful sight if he would pay attention to it. But his mind was still with the story Elrond had told him.

How could anyone do something this cruel? Oh, he knew orcs were a malicious species but he also knew they weren't intelligent enough to do such a crime. Not that he remembered that he ever met them before but he'd heard the elves talking about them when they thought he wasn't listening.

His thoughts traveled to Elladan. His father. What would the elf think about him? Does he even want a son, a dwarf nonetheless? Livon craved for a family and he couldn't think what he would do if he was rejected by Elladan. He would have to leave Rivendell for sure, even though Elrond seemed willing to accommodate him. But he wouldn't stay at a place he wasn't welcome to.

With a sigh he rested his chin atop of his knees. He wanted to speak with Elladan but was unsure how to approach him. Did he even know? Suddenly he didn't want to speak with his father, not yet anyway. He had to form a plan before he approached the subject.

Livon was so engrossed with his thinking that he didn't hear the knock at the door nor the light steps approaching the balcony. Only when he felt a shadow falling over him did he look up at the towering form of Elladan.

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Elladan would never admit it to his brother, but when he stood in front of Livon's door he needed several moments before he was able to knock. He frowned when he heard nothing from the other side and knocked again. When this attempt was fruitless as well, he cautiously opened the door to peek into the room but couldn't see the half-dwarf. Confused he stepped into the room and let his gaze roam the room. The waving curtains from the balcony finally gave him the right clue and with a few steps he looked down at his son.

The lad looked so deeply in thought that Elladan considered coming back later, but was bereft of that choice as Livon suddenly looked up at him. His eyes were wide and it was clear to Elladan that he had surprised him.

"I apologize if I startled you. It wasn't my intention," Elladan said. "I came to speak with you." Livon continued to stare at him for a few more moments before he nodded and notably calmed down. Elladan pulled one of the balcony chairs closer and sat down. Livon followed just a few seconds later.

They sat across of each other and both seemed at a loss what to say. How did one start a conversation between a father and a son if they didn't know each other? Especially since they weren't even from the same race, at least not fully?

"My father told me about the conversation you two had," Elladan began and instantly saw the hurt on Livon's face. He winced. Livon probably just started to trust his grandfather and must now think Elrond had betrayed that trust. "Not in detail, but what you thought what happened back then."

Livon bit down on his lip before he said: "Do you remember what happened?"

"No," Elladan replied and shook his head. "Most of it is still in the dark. But what I do know is that I would never intentionally force myself on a woman. There must be some other explanation and I intend to find it out."

He looked his son in the eyes and saw the relieve in them. It must be a heavy burden to think of his mother in pain, even if he didn't remember her.

"I do not know how long it will take but I promise you I won't stop," Elladan vowed. "And until then I hope we can learn to know each other and become a family."

A smile blossomed on Livon's lip. "I want it, too."

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Livon couldn't believe it. His worries had been for naught. Elladan didn't seem to think bad of him. And he believed him when he said he wouldn't have hurt his mother out of free will. Maybe his wish for a family would truly become true.

His father had left him a few minutes ago to allow him some solitude. It was still awkward to be in his presence, despite his acceptance. He wondered how the elf felt at the moment. Surely, it must be strange to discover to have a dwarven son, especially if he was already grown up.

Grown up… He wondered if he was really an adult or if his body was still maturing. He remembered Elrond told him that, by dwarven standards, even though not considered as an adult just yet, his body already would have reached his full grown state. But what of elvish standards? When where they considered as an adult? When were they full grown? His mixed origin must make that matter difficult, too. Maybe Lord Elrond could answer those questions. He was an experienced healer, after all, was he not? Yes, tomorrow he would ask his grandfather.

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Elrond cherished the sweet hours of morning. He was an early riser and usually it was quiet for a few hours at least before the hectic of the household started. Today was no different and he took a peaceful walk through the gardens. Though the air was cold the day promised to be sunny.

He stopped at a stone terrace facing the valley. It wasn't that long ago that his son had returned with his grandchild and though he sensed there was still awkwardness between them he was confident it would pass in time.

Elladan had visited him yesterday evening and told him about his short conversation with Livon. It seemed to have gone well and Livon seemed to be as eager as the elves to become a family.

Elrond knew it wouldn't be an easy task, especially for the young half-dwarf. It must be confusing and not remembering anything from his past wouldn't' make it easier. It troubled Elrond that Livon hadn't remembered anything yet, despite the long time since the incident. He feared the child wouldn't be able to fully settle if he didn't learn of his past.

The crunching of snow interrupted his thoughts and he turned around to faze the subject of his thoughts: Livon.

"Good morning, Livon," he greeted and smiled at the lad. "You are up early today."

"I wanted to speak with you," Livon said and looked away.

"What is it?" Elrond asked after Livon didn't continue. The lad looked uncomfortable and unsure.

"Well, I suppose I am the first half-dwarf-half-elf in history," Livon began and gnawed on his lower lip. "And I remember you told me that dwarven children were considered as adults at the age of seventy, though they stopped growing at the age of forty. And I wondered…" At this point, he trailed away, not sure how to proceed. He didn't need to say any more, though, as Elrond already knew the unspoken question.

"You wonder when elflings were fully grown and considered as an adult, were you not?" he asked gently and Livon nodded. "And probably about your lifespan as well." He motioned for Livon to follow him and led him to an enclosed sitting area. It would shelter them from the cold and give them the privacy to speak.

"It is a difficult question, indeed," Elrond said, his brows drawn together in thought. "Elves reach their adult height at the age of fifty but are considered adults at the age of hundred. Dwarves, as you already said, reach both earlier in life and have a lifespan of approximately 250 years whereas elves are immortal unless they are killed or fade in grief."

Livon's eyes grew wide. "Fade in grief?"

"Yes," Elrond replied and sighed. He thought about his beloved wife who'd lost her will to live after her imprisonment by orcs. "When an elf suffers an injury to the soul too strong to be bearable the lose their will to live and fade until they die. But those facing this fate usually decide to sail west, to the Undying Lands."

"The Undying Lands, doesn't that mean they die?"

"No, they live and they can heal but at the cost of never return to Middle-Earth," Elrond explained and felt a pang of sadness wash over him again. It would always hurt until he could see Celebrían again.

His sorrow must have shown on his face. "Do you know someone who sailed west?"

"Yes, my wife Celebrían, daughter of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn of Lothlórien and mother to Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen. Your grandmother." Elrond sighed again, feeling wearied. "She was captured and tortured by orcs long ago. My sons rescued her but she couldn't endure to stay in Middle-Earth any longer."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Elrond said sincerely and smiled at his young grandchild. "But we drifted a bit off-topic, didn't we?" Livon smiled a little and nodded. "It's hard to tell when you are fully grown. When I examined you the first time you came here I noticed growing signs but thought nothing of it as I know when dwarves stop growing. And you are above the age when elves stop growing as well. It's a guess, but I believe that due to your mixed blood you're still growing and gain at least a few more inches. Maybe up to five more during the next few years."

Livon's eyes grew wide again, clearly shocked to learn that he would gain a height no dwarf had ever reached. But then, he wasn't fully dwarf, was he?

"To say anything about your lifespan is even more difficult. You could be immortal as any elf or mortal with a prolonged lifespan, maybe up to thousand years more than the average dwarf."

"Well, I suppose I have to take it as it comes," Livon said and shrugged. Elrond smiled again, glad that his son's son had such a faithful spirit.

"What do you think of having some breakfast?" he asked and received an eager nod. As he already discovered, Livon was always hungry and could eat a large amount. Maybe because he was still growing. Or maybe because he was part dwarf and as far as the lord of Imladris knew, dwarves could always eat good and much.

When they entered the small dining hall belonging to the family alone they joined Elladan and Elrohir who already sat at the table. They hadn't started eating yet but had waited for the rest of their family residing in Rivendell to join them. They've seen Elrond and Livon speaking in the garden and didn't want to eat without them.

While they ate each thought about the future and hoped it would be a happy one. But they also promised they would seek for Livon's dwarven family and the truth that had started more than sixty years ago, no matter how long it would take.

 **AN:** I can't believe it has been already four months since my last update. For some reason, I thought it wasn't that long and I apologize (again) to have made you wait.

This chapter marks the end of one part of my story. I've already started with the next one and part of my problems with this chapter was to find a suitable end. I hope you liked it.

 **syeern** : I'm afraid you have to wait a bit longer until the lost time is cleared. It would be boring if they would suddenly remember, wouldn't it? About the beta… I know I make mistakes – I am no native English speaker, after all – and do my best to avoid them. I do hope I'm improving, but unfortunately, I can't see me working with a beta. I don't have the patience to wait until someone else has the time to read it first. Besides, I tried to find one once and had no luck with getting a response.

 **TMI Fairy** : Well, I am afraid you have to wait to see how Dís is managing a bit longer.


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